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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24771841">How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying (Or Letting Your Husband Know)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/fairmanor/pseuds/fairmanor'>fairmanor</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Campaign: A Series of Vignettes About the Time David and Patrick Secretly Ran Against Each Other in the Council Elections [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Schitt's Creek</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>David Rose - Freeform, Elections, Except they love each other in real life, Fluff, Future Fic, M/M, No angst here, Patrick Brewer is Gay, Ronnie Loves Stirring Shit Up, Schitt's Creek - Freeform, Smut, This is like a political You've Got Mail, Town Council, and hate their mystery candidate, just misunderstandings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 11:33:33</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>950</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24771841</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/fairmanor/pseuds/fairmanor</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s election season in Schitt’s Creek.  And this year, there’s more than one member of the Rose-Brewer household dealing with a…familiar rival.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Patrick Brewer/David Rose</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Campaign: A Series of Vignettes About the Time David and Patrick Secretly Ran Against Each Other in the Council Elections [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1791547</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>49</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying (Or Letting Your Husband Know)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This series is gonna be short and sweet, since there's literally nothing deep here at all. Like I said in the tags, it's basically You've Got Mail except it's elections and the whole thing is basically Ronnie's fault because she loves messing with them.</p><p>The idea came from a wonderful prompt by @onwardandawesomer. so props to them!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>At opposite ends of Schitt’s Creek, two men are on the phone.</p><p>One drowning in untied, unpackaged Christmas decorations, the other wrestling against the gradual upcycle of a bitter December wind, neither David Rose nor Patrick Brewer are entirely sure why they decided to take their respective phone calls well out of the earshot of their husband.</p><p>At opposite ends of Schitt’s Creek, two mothers are chattering down those phones.</p><p>If one is a calm, encouraging voice of reason and the other is salt into the proverbial wound of uncertainty, then that’s neither here nor there. It’s not like anyone would be able to tell who was who.</p><p>‘David, darling, you must heed this with the utmost attention. Mixing personal relationships with business and politics and such like is a recipe for disaster!’</p><p>‘In case it escaped your notice, I’ve been running a business with Patrick for almost ten years and we’ve literally never had any problems.’</p><p>Moira makes some non-committal noise that shouldn’t have made David as uneasy as it did.</p><p>‘Let me remind you, David, I had my own spin on this particularly erratic rodeo bull not so long ago. Jocelyn and I both running for town council put the most regrettable strain on our friendship. I’m only worried, dear, that any such altercation between sweet Patrick and yourself might lead to a hefty fee in counselling or…nuptial annulment.’</p><p>Was she <em>serious </em>right now? David physically pulls the phone away from his ear to give himself a moment of sheer disbelief at what was just said.</p><p>‘Mom. Me and Patrick going for the same seat on the council would hardly make us divorce. Anyway, I didn’t even say he was going for it! I just said we’d mentioned it, and he doesn’t even know I’m considering it.’</p><p>‘Well, I can neither blame nor stop you from following in Mummy’s footsteps,’ Moira drawls. ‘If you insist that I offer you some modicum of advice, then I would ask you to discourage Patrick from throwing his little sporting cap into the competition. And while I have the utmost faith in you, I don't pretend to be insensible of your husband's knack for the practical.’</p><p>‘What, do you think he’d beat me or something?’</p><p>‘Perish the thought, dear! I’m merely alluding to your heavy right-brained leaning that might be somewhat…maladapted for a term on council.’</p><p>‘And you and Patrick have discussed this?’</p><p>Moria does not answer; she merely hangs up in the same way she always does, unceremoniously and without prior warning.</p><p>David tugs his coat collar tighter as the wind picks up, and makes his way to the Café. <em>I’ll show him.</em></p><p>*</p><p>‘And when did you have this conversation?’</p><p>‘I wouldn’t exactly call it a <em>conversation, </em>Mom. It was more of a, "oh, look, Bob’s not gonna return to the council after his next term is up. What about that, huh?"’</p><p>Patrick hears Marcy make that little humming sound, the one that’s lodged in his acoustic memory as <em>really, Patrick? </em>and <em>are you sure, Patrick? </em>and <em>an outdoors wedding in the fall, Patrick?</em></p><p>He sighs. ‘What?’</p><p>‘Nothing, nothing!’</p><p>Patrick waits for it anyway.</p><p>‘Are you really sure it’ll be the best thing for either of you to be on the council? You have the business to think of, and I’m worried you’ll overwork yourselves. As for David…well, I mean nothing by it, but I know he doesn’t do well under pressure. And I know how you can get in conflict. Or competition. And when it comes to general common sense, you can both be a bit –’</p><p>Patrick laughs. ‘You done yet, Mom?’</p><p>‘Listen, Patrick. I’m not going to take sides here, but if you’re <em>really </em>set on being on council, then perhaps you could just…make the idea sound a little less palatable when you next talk about it to David.’</p><p>‘Mom, I can't do that! Anyway, I guarantee you he’s not going to run. I don’t doubt him, but it really isn’t his kind of thing.’ </p><p>*</p><p>‘What do you think makes us so good as a team?’</p><p>The question slips out between a half-watched episode of <em>Criminal Minds </em>and too many glasses of mulled wine.</p><p>‘What, like a business team? Or a home team?’ Patrick asks.</p><p>‘I don’t know, like an all-round, togethery, teamin’ team –’</p><p>‘A bedroom team?’</p><p>David snorts into his glass. ‘That’s a whole different story altogether.’</p><p>‘Don’t know.’ Patrick shrugs, lolling his head onto his husband’s shoulder. ‘We do different stuff well.’</p><p>‘I do <em>you </em>well.’</p><p>‘Ha!’</p><p>‘I guess we both have our strengths,’ David says. ‘And weaknesses.’</p><p>‘Screw that, I have <em>no </em>weaknesses.’</p><p>David laughs. He always forgets how cocky drunk Patrick can get.</p><p>‘You do!’</p><p>‘Okay, name…f-fu, I don’ know, <em>fifteen</em> weaknesses. Go.’</p><p>‘That’s too many.’</p><p>‘Go!’</p><p>David crawls across the sofa and points a single digit in Patrick’s face. ‘Number one, conflict.’</p><p>‘Conflict?!’</p><p>‘Yes! You can’t do arguing n’ shit. You go all red and stuttery and cute and then you forget what you’re saying.’</p><p>‘Mm, nope. No. I’m <em>excellent </em>at arguing.’</p><p>‘If you were on the council or something, you’d tank. You would <em>cry.’</em></p><p>Patrick mock gasps, ignoring the last sober shred of his mind that lights up with memory at the mention of the council.</p><p>‘I haven’t cried since our wedding day.’</p><p>‘You have!’ David shrieks. ‘You cried at that old <em>Grey’s Anatomy </em>episode last week, you cried when you got Mabel to sit for the first time, you cried when…’</p><p>The council is forgotten in the drunken back-and-forth about everything Patrick has sobbed at in the last five years. But as the night wears on, the gradually narrowing sobriety in Patrick still insists, <em>I’ll show him.</em></p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Kudos and comments do a happy writer make.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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